Fear that often emerges as anger or frustration presents a genuine challenge for many of us as leaders. We may be on the receiving end or we may be the ones unleashing energy which will inevitably create a rippling impact upon loved ones, communities, and the wider world. I am sure that I am not the only leader who looks back with regret when I responded poorly in moments of anxiety, stress and irritation. My carelessness or failure to fully grasp and take responsibility for what was going on within me hurt people. How can we acknowledge and value what is felt in a healthy way? How too can we extend grace to others who project anger and fear onto to us in damaging ways out of their own brokenness? This raises an intriguing aspect of what it means to be Spiritual Transformational Leaders.
Father Richard Rohr offers some sage advice. “If you don’t transform your suffering, you will transmit it.” Again - “If you don’t transform your suffering, you will transmit it.” What is your suffering? What triggers anxiety, frustration or angst for you or the community you lead? How can the response to these strong emotions lessen suffering rather than spread suffering – be a source of healing and justice rather than a mirror of harm or self-rejection?
Fear is a signal not a solution. Anger can be an important voice of recognition calling for change but a dismal remedy. It is important to realize that both fear and anger involve experiencing or re-experiencing suffering at some level every time they are deeply expressed. This means that there is a very real danger that when we cast our fears and anger onto others unchecked and with the wrong spirit, it can cause them harm. Fear and anger can debilitate. If we take on fear and anger and it begins to characterize our daily way of being and interacting in the world, we severely diminish our effectiveness as leaders called to grow and embody love and hope in the world.
What, then, are Christian practices of Spiritual Transformational Leadership? There are many, but let’s look at two of the most relevant to situations where fear and anger take center stage.
1. Practicing Sacred Space
This is the intentional, recurring practice of pausing to listen to the voice of God’s love. It might be as brief as a few moments or as long as an extended season of reflection. It establish sacred space between what happens and our response. What does love call forth in this situation, this moment, this time? How do I embody that love when it is difficult? Prayerful pausing prevents us from immediate reactions that might pass on the energy coming at us or arising within us, which when poured outward could damage others or ourselves. It is time spent with the Spirit - the source of the fruit of the Spirit. This fruit nourishes those healing from suffering (including ourselves) restoring them to wholeness and vitality in life. The practice of pausing for Sacred Space is equally applicable and vital with our family as well as the wider world.“But what happens when we live God’s way? God brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely.” — Galatians 5:22-24 The Message
2. Practicing Compassion
Henri Nouwen encourages spiritual leaders to consider what it means to be “wounded healers” taking our lead from Christ who transformed woundedness into compassion for the world. These Nouwen quotes begin to reveal in part what he means by the practice of compassion. Compassion frees us from using fear and anger as weapons of coercion, and to apply them instead as catalysts for grace and wholeness.“In our own woundedness, we can become sources of life for others.”
“In a world so torn apart by rivalry, anger, and hatred, we have the privileged vocation to be living signs of a love that can bridge all divisions and heal all wounds.”
“Let us not underestimate how hard it is to be compassionate. Compassion is hard because it requires the inner disposition to go with others to the place they are weak, vulnerable, lonely, and broken. But this is not our spontaneous response to suffering. What we desire most is to do away with suffering by fleeing from it or finding a quick cure for it. As busy, active, relevant spiritual leaders, we want to earn our bread by making a real contribution. This means first and foremost doing something to show that our presence makes a difference. And so we ignore our greatest gift, which is our ability to enter into solidarity with those who suffer.”
“Self-rejection is the greatest enemy of the spiritual life because it contradicts the sacred voice that calls us the “Beloved.” Being the Beloved constitutes the core truth of our existence.”
